Compose Yourself
by strikingtwelve
Summary: "Jane Austen. Amazing writer, brilliant comic observer, and strictly amongst ourselves a phenomenal kisser." (The Doctor finally takes Clara on an innocent trip to visit her idol. She doesn't quite manage to control her urges.)


_A/N: My bisexual!Clara headcannon came true and I have just so many emotions that have to be expressed through fanfiction. Jane Austen lovers, deepest apologies if this is so far off from what you'd like to see from her as a character. My main focus here was Clara._

 _Enjoy some queer Clara_

* * *

She couldn't believe it. The Doctor was always showing her fascinating sights, wonders, eventful moments in history and a heap of once-in-a-lifetime experiences that she experienced far more than once. These weren't always on her accord, mind. Very rarely did Clara get a solid choice in adventure or event.

But finally it was her turn.

She wouldn't go so far as to label Jane Austen an _idol_ but she certainly towered high over any other earthly teenage heroine or Marcus Arelius somewhat or another.

When the Doctor finally agreed to take Clara to nineteenth-century England after ages of agonizing begging and quite an extraordinarily long briefing about _controlling her urges,_ Clara felt just about ready to burst with joy and excitement. Every since she was young she was highly fond of the author; while other teens and pre-teens spent their days glorying over the highest ranking pop artist or the cutest boy in their class, Clara would be the one sitting on her own with the same old copy of Pride and Prejudice clenched between her fingers. A pin up stored beneath her desk for a calming glance in the midst of a particularly struggling test. Her teenage crush, she liked to call it.

And an adult crush... guiltily.

"Compose yourself, Oswald." The Doctor chastised knowingly the moment he opened the TARDIS doors, revealing Clara's equivalent as a bowl filled with candy would be to a child. That giddy smile concerned him. "Don't get too excited. She's just some book author. I introduced you to Buddy Holly and you didn't act like this!"

"Enough." The tone was the usual nagging she took on but the huge smile on her face was conflicting. Clara stepped out further onto the cool pavement and smoothed out the pale beige dress that completely swallowed her thin build. "Oh my god this is happening." She took her bottom lip between her teeth and gave a single hop and a squeal that made the Doctor wince. "This is happening!"

"Not if you insist on acting like a starstruck child the whole time!" He cried over the sound of the TARDIS doors shutting softly. "Just... don't embarrass me."

She recoiled at that, spinning to face him with a quirked brow. " _Me_ embarrass _you_? Where have you been these past few years!"

"Good, you understand then." He grinned and gestured with his hand to the road ahead. "Shall we?"

Clara didn't even consider fighting anymore. Excitement boiled into pleasured anxiety and she gave a single bounce and let the Doctor lead her on.

"Her house... Oh my god this is her house isn't it?" Her eyes were as wide as her face. "Hah, of course it's her house. Why wouldn't it be her house?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes and rapped his knuckles against the door. The sound of footsteps could be heard on the otherside and he saw Clara press the back of her hand against her lips to contain another outburst. He held up an index finger. "Compose. Your. Self."

The door opened and the Doctor had to say he was impressed Clara managed not to faint.

"Jane! Lovely to see you again." He extended a friendly hand that the woman took without hesitation.

"Why, Doctor. It's been quite a long time, hasn't it?" She wore a friendly smile that reflected Clara's, with a tint of a feisty glimmer in her eye that the opposing woman found admiring. "And who might you be?"

 _She's a human being. Just like you. An ordinary person. Compose yourself. Compose yourself._

"I'm Clara!" Ouch. Too loud. Tone it down. She practically felt the Doctor's judging stare as she shook Jane's free hand. She shocked herself to find her own hands were no longer shaking, stilled by the firm, warm grasp. "Clara Oswald. Lovely to meet you."

"As to you." She held Clara's hand a second extra as her eyes roamed up and down before she cleared her throat, just as Clara did in a moment of insecurity and stepped back. When she looked at the Doctor again his face was one of disgust. "What?" She shrugged with a forced innocent face.

He waggled a finger in front of their faces. "You two behave. Okay?"

"What? Where are you going?" Clara folded her arms.

"TARDIS. I'll wait up. We've hardly been here five minutes and I'm already seeing bedroom eyes." He held his hands up with a shudder. "I don't want to witness anymore. Jane, good to see you. Clara, later."

Once his back was turned Clara was painfully aware of the red flare heating her cheeks accompanied by a not so much welcomed silence.

"Won't you come in?" Jane stepped to the side and held one arm akimbo.

"We... you don't even know me. And you're inviting me in?" Her hands were shaking with anticipation.

"A friend of the _Doctor's,_ " The name rolled off her tongue in a tone that made goose flesh rise on Clara's arms. "is a _friend_ of mine."

Clara sucked on her lips and nodded the most painfully pitiful nod as she stepped inside the home of her hero. The decor was lovely and filled with what Clara would consider expensive antiques. She knew that in an hour's time she would hardly manage even the slightest description of her surroundings. Certain distractions prevented her from paying attention. "So. Big fan." Casual talk was better than none.

 _Compose yourself._

"Oh? Don't meet many of those!" In the most human act Clara had seen in the past five minutes Jane laughed such a sweet, enchanting laugh as Clara was led to sit. "Tea?"

"Please." She sat politely and took the offered warm mug and allowed the steam to mask her sweaty palms. "Thank you."

"No need. Now. Let's get down to business."

Clara nearly choked. "B...business?"

Jane looked genuinely confused. "The Doctor mentioned you had an interest in assisting me in the production of my work? Good editors are very hard to come by these days - but he mentioned you were quite qualified." Her eyes alone projected obvious delight and impression while the rest remained hidden by her tea cup. "He spoke very highly of you." A thoughtful look crossed her face and her hands fell back to her lap. "Are you two-"

"- _No_. No, no, no." Clara shook her head vigorously and repeated with an firmly emphasized, " _No._ "

"Might I ask why? He is quite lovely." The smirk was practically audible and only grew visible when Clara laughed awkwardly, eyes squinting with a _you don't want to know._ "Well, who _is_ the lucky man?"

Clara shook her head. "No man,"

"Oh?"

"There was one."

"Oh."

"Yeah, but it never really would have worked out." She winced and stared off sideways. "Never really seems to with that lot."

Jane smiled again and dared to press, "I see. That lot being... men?"

Clara nodded absently then jerked herself aware, eyes wide and lips pursed. "Wait, I didn't..."

"Clara, it's alright." She gently placed her hand on the woman's with such tenderness as if they had known each other a _much_ longer time than a few moments. "I... usually tend to prefer a different pick than most women of my culture, much to my dismay."

The inhibitions faded into a piquing interest and Clara twitched her lips. "That so?"

"Your the first I've come to know with similar tendencies." She admitted. "Best to keep these things hushed, you know?"

"Yeah," The word was halfhearted. Everything happening in front of her was far too distracting. "You're... the uh, first I've met as well."

Jane's eyes flickered to Clara's, and the knowledge and wisdom and passion Clara expected to see was replaced with such an earthly, needy vibe. "Where are you from?"

"Oh, here and there." Her heart was thudding almost painfully against her ribs and echoing in her increasingly trembling fingertips. "I travel mostly." She saw the woman's face fall from hope to depression all in the same second. "What is it?"

"Nothing." She closed her eyes and forced out a laugh. "Thought you might have been here to... stay." She cleared her throat and twisted her fingers, just as Clara did in her stress-filled hours. "My, seeing as it's quite possibly a once-in-a-lifetime chance meet..."

Her vision was blurring. This couldn't be happening. This was all just a dream... the loveliest dream ever and she didn't want to wake up.

"Might we... take advantage?" Jane took Clara's strained nod as a sign of encouragement to shift an inch closer, head drifting forward and down to accommodate for the height difference.

And soon Clara could feel warm breath on her neck.

The fingers around her palm moving to lace with her own.

Her own body wavering until those soft human lips she had idolized on a piece of paper or computer screen for years came to life and touched her own.

Clara responded gratefully and possibly a bit too instantly because Jane laughed, though the trance was never broken. It was a calm kiss, no further extravagants planned besides a much welcomed break from a shameful world.

She lost track of time. It could have lasted seconds or hours and neither would have managed to tell the difference; so caught up in each other the sound of the door opening and frantic footsteps were lost to them.

"Nope!" Clara felt her upper arm roughly seized and a violent jerk that brought her to her feet. The Doctor tugged her several paces away. "No, no, nope! Definitely nope. Huge nope."

"Doctor!" Clara cried with equal embarrassment and despair. He had just ruined what she had officially labeled beyond compare the _best day of her life._

Jane stood casually and wiped the corner of her mouth with a dainty thumb. "Doctor, can't we just-"

"- _Nope!_." He ushered Clara away like he would a misbehaving child but not before she could catch Jane's eyes again.

"See you soon?" The author requested but knew far better.

"I'd think not." Clara laughed and waved brightly as the Doctor dragged her back to the TARDIS.


End file.
